


Old Habits Die Hard

by bathylas



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 14:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5543294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bathylas/pseuds/bathylas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some days Finn thinks too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Habits Die Hard

**Author's Note:**

> not too sure how i feel about this, but maybe you'll like it!

For Finn, there were scars from lifetime as a stormtrooper that stuck with him, even as he adjusted to life at the D'Qar base.

He flinched every time somebody touched him. Congratulatory claps on the back, friendly grips on his shoulder, accidental brushes of hands; every time he'd tense, because no one touched him in the First Legion, unless you were sparring or you did something very wrong.

He tried to stop, but it was only natural for him to hesitate at contact. He’d reach out for people because that was easier to stomach. Even if he knew it was coming he'd freeze up for a second, and he was ashamed. How could the rebels trust him if he sometimes shied away at their contact like acid? Their eyes showed pity, but how long until they change to suspicion?

He flinches even at Poe Dameron, the pilot that showered him with admiration and affection and so much love that it surprised him. Finn forgets that he's no longer a dispensable number, that he stands out on his own and he has friends that love him.

On an early quiet morning, laying in his back in his quarters, he thought about his companions. He thought of Rey, the girl he cared deeply for, and how her emotions would get the best of her. Once her mind was set on something, there was no talking her out of it, no matter how reckless. He thought of Poe, dashing and charming and heroic, and how he worked too hard. Every other night Finn would have to track the man down or he’d never go to bed, losing time in tinkering with his X wing. 

And yet while they had their habits, he still had days where he felt inadequate.

As if the pilot knew he was on Finn's mind, he stirred from his place on his chest. Sleepy brown eyes opened to look at him for a moment before wincing at the light, and he groaned. 

“G’morning,” Poe slurred, wrapping his arms tighter around the ex-trooper. Finn hummed, running a hand through the man's curls.

Minutes passed, and Poe tried opening his eyes again, managing only a second more. He still noticed the way Finn stared at the ceiling.

“Thinking again?” Poe mumbled into his collarbone.

Finn took a deep breath. “Yeah,” he muttered.

Poe didn't move for a while and Finn started to think he didn't hear, until the pilot groaned dramatically while he shifted so that his arms were holding him up.

This time he willed his eyes to stay open. This was important. He looked into Finn's eyes, dark and deep and uncertain. 

“Hey,” Poe started, voice raspy with sleep. “You’re a pretty great guy, you know that?”

Poe leaned down to brush his nose against Finn's cheek. “You’re a hero with skill and heart and I like being around you,” he continued, pressing his lips to the corner of his mouth.

“And, I think you're cool. I don’t know you know this, but I'm kind of a big deal around here, so that shouldn't be taken lightly.”

Finn rolled his eyes but he couldn't hold back a tiny smile. 

“I don’t know, it’s not all the time but some days I just can't stop thinking about it. That I don’t fit,” Finn replied, eyes stuck back on the ceiling. As he spoke, Poe slowly moved down to land soft kisses on his neck.

“I’m glad you're here,” Poe murmured, hand cupping one side of his face. “When Rey gets back, she'll be thrilled that you're still here. General Organa is glad you're here. One day you'll feel it too.”

“Honestly, you'll never see a more diverse group of people. It's pretty much impossible to not fit in,” Poe spoke after a moment of silence, voice thoughtful like this was a fact he had just realized in his head.

Finn didn't say anything, just nodded. He took another deep breath and gladly kissed him when the pilot moved away from his neck. After a few moments, Poe sat up.

“Do you want to get breakfast or stay here for a while? We've got time,” Poe asked with a quick glance at the clock beside their bed.

“Wait,” Finn responded, grabbing his grey shirt and pulling him back down. “Later.”

Poe laughed, nuzzling the ex-trooper's nose with his own. “If you say so…”

Their lips met again, gentle and lazy, Finn's hands resting at Poe's hips. The rebels lost track of time until the standard issue morning alarm sounded. Poe’s teeth lightly grazed Finn's lips before he pulled away, jumping out of bed quickly so he couldn't be lured back. 

He turned the damned alarm off, smirking at his lover. 

“Come on, food.”

As they walked to the cafeteria, Poe stretched to wrap an arm around Finn's broad shoulders, and though the former stormtrooper tensed, neither of them stopped smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr - [bathylas.tumblr.com](http://www.bathylas.tumblr.com)


End file.
